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<>< Nick's Sanctuary ><>Grace & Peace to you from God Our Father & The Lord Jesus Christ.
January 12 Leaving the CradleI've been very quiet lately, reason being is that I have been exporting the best portions of my blog since we began this journey together nearly 2 years ago, over to my blogger site. I've grown tired of the time consuming and cumbersome pageloads, the countless times I have written posts that have vanished into another dimensionm and the lack of individuality.
I'd like this post to be an epitath to everything I have done here and the good times and hard times we have shared together in this space.
I've provided a link to a video which, incidentally, comes from the television series: Babylon 5... the last chronological episode where there is no need for a Babylon Station anymore... because the work it did has been superceded by the Interstellar Alliance. Perhaps fittingly (given the circumstances), MSN Spaces rejected all attempts to embed the video, hence me having to provide the external link: Shutdown.
The majority of my blogging will be done over at the new home of Nick's Sanctuary: http://nickssanctuary.blogspot.com
In another episode of Babylon 5, we see mankind leave behind the Earth to begin teaching the younger civilisations how to develop... it is from that episode that I want to leave you with a slight misquote:
This is how Nick's MSN Space ends:
swallowed in fire but not in darkness. You will live on. The voice of all our ancestors, the voice of our fathers and mothers, to the last generation. We have created the blog we think you would have wished for us. And now we leave the cradle for the last time. December 12 A Hard Lesson RelearnedSometimes you know things on a subconscious level, but you need to be reminded of them in very real ways.
On Sunday I visited a dear friend at a church service she was attending; it was an opportunity to talk about various things and pour out what has been in or on my heart. She was asking me if I'd heard some good news she had come across, which I had... but in truth, that "good" news had been like bitter waters to me. A friend has been blessed greatly this year... in a way that I have waited patiently for myself for quite some time. It was a bitter pill to swallow because his morality in such matters has from my perspective been rather dubious. Personally I find "all's fair in love and war" to be a principle that is greatly at odds with "love your neighbour as yourself", but without going into the details, lets just say he never saw a problem in living by both attitudes... at least not around me. Some times we have a right to be angry... but just because anger is righteous under certain circumstances, it doesn't mean we should always embrace it. We would be justifiably angry if we were smacked in the face and yet Jesus taught us to turn the other cheek. If Jesus had reacted to righteous anger all the time he felt it, he would never have died for us. Is there anything under the sun that is more worthy of righteous anger than the torture and murder of the innocent? If Jesus could turn aside his anger at being unfairly punished at human hands... should we not do the same for the comparatively much smaller things that irk us?
God convicted me on the way back home on Sunday, whilst riding the bike in the pouring rain. While I mulled over the anger I felt, he put a scripture in my heart it was from the parable of the Prodigal Son:
"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'" Luke 15:28-30 In the story, a father has two sons... one of whom was disobedient and squandered his inheritance but saw the error of his ways and returned... the other remained obedient and was annoyed that despite that despite squandering his share of the inheritance given to him... his younger was being abundantly blessed. I was acting just like that older brother. "Ah! but", I protested "The prodigal son was repentant when he was blessed, I don't feel that has happened in my case". Then God laid on my heart one of my heroes from the Old Testament - Josiah. Josiah's father and grandfather were deeply dodgy men... godless men in fact. Yet God in his wisdom blessed these men with a line of succession. Why not cut off evil men where they stand? Well, if God had done that... Josiah would never have been born and the reforms that held back judgement from Judah for a generation, would never have taken place. God was effectively saying that if he is able aggressive and deliberately wicked people to bring about blessing later on... surely he can do the same through people who are merely rebellious and disobedient.... and that I should not let it bother me. I have repented of my anger and there has been a marked difference in my attitude to the person who wounded me. I have been much more civil... it may not be deserved, but God requires it of me nonetheless.
When Jesus commanded us to love our enemies he said that God makes the sun and rain fall on good and evil men alike. As you live your daily life, you will discover that both good and ball, wonderful and terrible things happen to both the righteous and unjust. Instead of trying to consider whether we or other people are getting our just desserts... we should remember that the big story is not about us. As Shakespeare said: "All the world's a stage,And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts" Here is the conclusion of the matter. God is sovereign and his love is unconditional. He has mercy on whom he has mercy and he has compassion on whom he has compassion. By his sovereign choice he blesses who he will, whether they be unrepentant or righteous. In his wisdom he knows the good that will come eventually. Nothing is wasted. For those of us who still wait for the sweet gentle rain of blessing to kiss our lands; we should remember what the Father said in the story to the older son who felt grieved by waiting, while his disobedient brother was blessed: "My son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours." December 04 MadventToday marks the first Sunday in the Church Calendar.... it is the start of a new year - Advent Sunday.
Needless to say everybody at church ended up running around like headless chickens because various things went missing. The prayer for the lighting of the advent ring couldn't be found. Rather than see this as a difficulty, I chose to see it as an opportunity. So I grabbed the service sheet, a pen and pad and then decided to invent my own advent prayer: Jesus - Light of the World, you stepped down into the darkness of our lives and came to transform us with your love. As we light this candle, help us to remember with thanks that you came to save us by your death and resurrection; and looking forward , prepare our hearts for your glorious return. Increase our love and strengthen our hearts that we may be blameless in your sight. In your name we ask this. Amen. Despite the fact the "official" prayer was found, we still used mine as well. It sounds like it may well be used again in the coming weeks. The ironic thing here is that I'm normally opposed to liturgy, and yet a simple prayer I created as a one off, now looks like it may well become a form of "unofficial" liturgy.
I should add that it's not liturgy itself I resent, some of the words are quite inspirational. What I'm resentful of is the habit in traditional churches of following the same pattern of service and using the same prayers over and over again. Prayers should not be recited parrot fashion, they should be from the heart. In services dominated by liturgy, it becomes so easy to flick an unconscious switch and drift off into autopilot mode. This is saddening because if you listen to people do this, they sound like something from popular culture... a race of automatons without feeling, emotion or individuality...
December 01 Debtwatch 2Walked into the bank.
The outstanding loan figure this morning stood at £2862.50 (after interest). I walked into the bank and pulled out a sawn off shot... ahem I walked into the bank and transferred £300 from savings and £200 from a work bonus I received and transferred it to the flexiloan. At close of play tonight, £310 will transfer as normal onto the loan and despite interest going on, the simple fact remains that I have by the grace of God practically clobbered two months off my final repayment time.... HUZZAH!!!!!
According to my calculations, this will bring me towards a completion date of 1st August.
This month is a real acid test though. I have drained my resources down as far as I dare. Christmas is coming and I have friends and family to take care of...
...oh yes and one rogue tooth that requires a filling on Tuesday.... fun fun fun! Still at least I'll get half a day off work. Oh and may I say a special thank you to my father who decided to watch a spy thriller where some thugs did a DIY dentistry session on some poor bloke using nothing more sophisticated than a Black & Decker power drill!!!!!!!
I have three weeks left before I break up for the New Year, a new year full of hope and promise already.
I estimate that if I have the will to, over the next six months I can push to bring that clearance date forward by two more months. However, realistically I need to make sure I have enough money to pay my way at Scripture Union camp next year. I think I might save up for one more definite advance payment and then see how I fare over the remaining course.
Anyway, just signing off my second report as to how God is continuing to bless me in my attempts to get back on financial level terms.
Again I want to encourage and remind you that whatever millstone is hanging round your neck... emotional, financial, sinful, physical, mental... it is not too heavy for God to take off of you if you let him.
On a much lighter note, here is a pic of the present I've got Benji.... I can't stop pressing the eye laser button. The battery will be flat by Christmas at this rate.
Loan balance as at 1st December 2006: £2052.50 November 29 Revelations In A Quiet PlaceIt's taken me some time, but I'm now ready to share the profound experience I had on my birthday with you. It's taken on new significance since I saw the latest episode of Lost, where Locke enters a sweat lodge to communicate with the island.
I woke up on Tuesday and opened my cards. One of them was handmade by Jenni and contained a verse from Psalm 37. Another card from Rob, Susan, Benji and Katy was based on one of Rob's paintings and was called shine, it has a man standing with arms outstretched on a sunny hilltop beside a tree. 
I am certain that Rob had remembered a conversation we had had earlier about my desire for a late November birthday where the sun was shining and leaves were still on the trees.
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